okay where to start, i returned from massive training. it was lame... hot... sweaty... oh yea ad after 1 week of no showers i deffinatly need a shower, lol. but it was what it is. lame. the army... still has yet to "un-ass" themselves (is that supposed to be hyphanated?.... is that spelled right?). what else... i picked up the metroid prime trilogy. having played about 2 hours of it i still think that the first prime was the best. although granted number 3 did bring some new mechanics in... number 2 still sucks, but it was the only one with multi play, and therefore necisary. ya can't think of much else to say, the fox is still a pest, oh i did share that right? i have a pet fox. and yea she's a pest. i'm putting a new engine in my car soon, don't know how soon but soon none the less. i figure i'll take a week or 2 vacation just to do it. something like that. oh yea, heat vision, i'm getting lazor surgury soon. i will be blind for many days, and then i will be able to see again.

so, when i was in JRTC a buddy of mine told me that if you sleep on your back you remember your dreams more often. since it has been over a year that i had a dream that i could remember i thought i would give it a whirl. nothing for a few days, a couple unimportant dreams. and then a couple days after i get back from JRTC i have a dream about a girl i had a crush on way back in the day... i mean WAY BACK. i'm not going to say how far back but it was before i was in high school. skipping the details of the dream (no nothing like THAT) it got me wondering how life would have been if my parents had never moved. if i had stayed in tacoma, if i wound up going to the same school as her. further more the many diffrent reprocussions on my own life, would i still like techno music, would i have recieved a life altering injury (a major point in the dream). lastly i find myself constantly amazed (although i understand why) i have yet to be made perfect by my God. no matter how badly i want to no longer sin and have temptation i am 100% incapable of doing such a thing. i mean, consider the moral implications here. i'm lying in my bed next to my wife dreaming about an old crush, whom i have not see for... TO LONG, and therefore without a recent picture of her i am forced to dream about her as she was... UNDERAGE, and therefore according to my dreams (which i have no control over) i am a lying cheating pedophile. although with my mind as it was in my dream i was a far noble charicter then in reality, because in my dream i was practicing celebacy, loyalty, duty, many things which throughout my life (given the same age as dream me) i was far beyond any sort of abilty to preform (that is to say comparing myself when i was 16 to my dream self who was also 16). and in the end i realize that i really don't want to remember my dreams at all because they do one of 2 things... 1) they scare me of my self and therefore i question who i really am and what i serve... 2) the display alternate life options that i might have taken and therefore i question who i really am and what i serve. so the moral of this soliloquy is that i no longer have any desire to sleep on my back or remember my dreams, and if i'm lucky i wont forget this.
Kilroy OUT.